5 Tips to Increase Confidence in 2021

5 Tips to Increase Confidence in 2021

One of my favorite things about having a boudoir blog is being able to share additional photos from the portfolio and providing a more in-depth look and understanding of the photoshoots and some of the behind-the-scenes.

If there is only one rule in boudoir you must follow its portraying confidence. No one does it better than Jill.

If you have ever shot with me, there is a good chance that Jill was there as she is my friend and main hairstylist for Wonderland Boudoir. Jill is a master in all things hair. I mean that. She's actual a professor in hair at a local accredited school in Dallas. On top of being a full-time educator, she also runs her own hairstyling business. If that wasn't enough she also has her wig line where she creates customer wigs for her clients. I honestly don't know how she has the time.

Jill breathes so much life in me. She has one of the best attitudes I have met. She makes everyone feel comfortable as soon as she meets them. When she's available to shoot with me she always takes her time to make sure the client feels comfortable. She wants to know about your entire life story, and she also mentally preps you for the shoot.

I have done several boudoir sessions with Jill. She allows me to experiment and try new looks. Because Jill can do hair and makeup and already knows what to expect from my shooting style, all I have to do is concentrate on creating beautiful art.

Due to Jill's confidence and dedication to create outstanding images, I can create some of the best images. Today I want to provide 5 steps on how to become confident.

1.) STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

Okay, if you leave with NOTHING else today this needs to be it. I get it. This Is SuCh A cLiChe. While that may be true, that doesn't erase the fact that you have to STOP GIVING A FUCK about what people may or may not thinking about you. Let me leave you with a God to honest truth. No one is thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself. The main person judging your existence is you. Too often do we project our insecurities onto other people. This sometimes leads to creating a false narrative.

One of the best books I have read about building self-confidence is the Subtle Art of Not Giving a fuck by Mark Manson. This book provides an authentic account of how much better your life becomes when you stop focusing on the things or people who don't matter.

Don’t wake up 30 years from now upset you didn’t live the life you wanted due to baseless fears. Even if they are legitimate, you owe it to yourself to try. For you. You are reason enough.

2.) Be Unapologetically Yourself

Self-love is the greatest middle finger of all times. We live in a world that tries to constantly remind us that if we aren't wearing these clothes, have the best bodies, or if don’t have the latest bag then we are losing in life. While I'm all for new clothes or a hot new make-up or hairstyle, remember that those things don't define who you are. Those are a mask. You can buy as many designer sunglasses as your want, but that won't cover up any doubts of self-love you have for yourself. Material possessions don't define you.

3.) It's okay to ask for help

This one was a personal hard one for me. For a long time (and at times, still is) one of the hardest things you can do. For me, it's because I don't want to be a burden to my family or friends. I also don't want to seem weak or look like I can't solve issues myself. But the fact is, at some point in life, we are all going to need help. You have to let go of your ego and pride to do that. Allowing yourself to show your vulnerabilities creates a deeper bond with the person you are sharing them with. Thus creating a stronger connection.

4.) BLOCK IS YOUR FRIEND

Block people, accounts, phone numbers, social media sites, or anything that makes you question who you are or your self-confidence. I will be transparent here. There are several photographers that I muted on Instagram. Not because they aren't incredible and create some of the most gorgeous content I have ever seen. It's because I was spending way too much time comparing my progress with theirs. While I know that my journey and path are not the same as theirs, it still was painful to see them living this life of pure entrepreneurship travel, and everything people dream of. It hurt to block them, but my mental health and the goals I set for myself were way more important to me. Block is a true ally on the road to self-confidence. Yes, while I know not everything you see is what you really get on social. I still blocked them.

5.) Your Past Does Not Define You

Listen, we are all an accumulation of our past decisions. One of the most counterproductive things we can do as we grow in our journey is constantly looking back and reveling in past mistakes. You need to permit grant yourself forgiveness for things that happened in the past. You need to move past embarrassing mistakes... or better yet, fully own them. Fact is, we are going to stumble often on this journey. No one is immune to that. Perfection is a pure myth. Allow yourself to write a new story and start a new life. Leverage the lessons you learned in the past to help forge a better future with you. Let your past be the catalyst for a beautiful life.

I hope you loved these awesome shots of the lovely Jill. If you want to schedule a session with me, fill out the form below, and let's take the next steps.

Freeing Yourself From Self Imposed Prisons

I love shooting boudoir in Dallas. Everyone deserves beautiful and sexy photos of herself.  As a female boudoir photographer, I love capturing all the small nuances that make a boudoir photo Pinterest worthy. Yes, hair and makeup play an important role, but the most important role in a photo is the element of emotion.  How does this photo make you feel? What do you want to do after seeing it? How does this person feel while shooting?  What was going through her mind? What was the photographer feeling while capturing the shot?

Perhaps I am the only person who wonders that last questions since I am a photographer. I have been shooting since I was 14.  While sitting in my High School photojournalism class my teacher quickly learned that in photography I am drawn to the element of art.  It was never about a perfectly composed photo or if the highlight were perfect.  It was about the story behind the pictures and if could I accurately tell it from a single shot.  

This is why I can't wait to showcase this next set.  I shot this back in February.  While that was three months ago it feels like it was just yesterday.  Sometimes I just need the freedom to create and shoot.  Photography is an art form to me. When shooting this beautiful soul  I just wanted to shoot freely, make mistakes, and be without all the production. No hair. No makeup.  Just God, the muse, and myself. 

Enter Ms. Jay.  She was exactly what I was looking for. Confident, fun, beautiful, subtly sexy with just a bit of quirky and nerdy. We spoke on the phone and communicated through email.  I told her I was in the process of changing my style and I need to shoot with more passion, more authenticity, and more emotion.  I need to push beyond the fashion, hair, and makeup and just focus on the core.  The core being two people creating a masterpiece. The core being, "Who is this person."

I wanted to shoot through my heart.  With reckless abandon.  I wanted to feel free. To escape all the barriers I put up and put all of me out there. While, admittedly, there was more I could have done to push myself when I look at this set,  I am super happy with the results.  

What I am most happy about is that J trusted me.  She left nothing on the table and worked with me. Her comfort with herself made me more comfortable with myself.  While most of my sessions aren't centered around me, this one was.  

What did I learn from this project?
The first, last, and most important relationship you will ever have will be the one you have with yourself.  People can detect authenticity in your work.  If you aren't happy with where things are going it is your responsibility to change that.  No one else is required to help you, but you.  

I learned that when I'm honest with what I really want to see out of my clients they are more willing to listen.  There have been times when the client only half gets the pose I want and I will tell them that will work... but when culling my photos I get upset because the photo could have been that much better if I had played chicken with my client had I stuck with what I really wanted out of her.  I learned that I needed to be a more honest communicator.  

In this session, I was able to direct J exactly like I wanted because I was doing this for me.  Yet, why wasn't I doing this for my clients?  That's what they wanted right?  The biggest compliment I get from people is how I direct.  If I am to be honest with myself, I can be better with telling people what I want from them.  I will.  With and without the camera in front of my eyes.

I also learned that you truly need to "fuck-their-thoughts".  Who is their?  Also, why are we fucking their thoughts?  'Their' are all the dumbass voices in your head who promote self-doubt.  Those thoughts that drive fear and promote stagnation.  Those that want you to stick to the status quo.  Those stupid fucking thoughts that stop you from achieving greatness because you feel uncomfortable.  While we are at it, fuck your comfort.  Yes, in the event you are wondering, fuck is my favorite cuss word. 

I felt like a bird while shooting J.  I was without restraints.  Flying free. Unbound to any type of expectation to anyone.  This was my world were I finally allowed myself to create freely. I was living by my own rules. Fuck the hair. Fuck the makeup. All I wanted to do was create without these limits, fears, and self-doubt I conjured up for myself.  Gawd, did it feel amazing. To be in a single moment of complete and utter mental freedom is the most satisfying state of mind you will ever achieve.

That's what creates leaders, artist, and innovators, right? The ability to dream outside the limits. To do what people think are crazy?  To do what people wish they had the audacity to do. Do what scares you. Do what makes you grow.  

I will be working with J again so please expect to see her more on this blog.  When you see Jay it will be an extension of me expressing a piece of who I am.  It will be a part of me dying to escape this self-imposed prison I built.  

I appreciate J because she trusts me.  I trust her.  She has given me full permission to work with her with no limits.  I can't wait to create more art with her and share my musing with you after my sessions with this beautiful soul.  

I know everyone is going to ask so... EVERY single piece that J is rocking was styled by me and can be found at Forever 21. 

Please make sure to follow J on Instagram HERE:
https://www.instagram.com/red_copper_fox/

 

In the section below let me know something you limit yourself on and how you plan on changing it.

If you're interested in your own boudoir session hit us up using the form below!

Blonde and Boudoir | Dallas Boudoir

I love being a boudoir photographer in Dallas, Texas.  I meet so many incredible women.  Some whom I have shot three of four times already.    It's great to earn the trust and love of your clients.

Speaking of I am shooting one of my favorite faces, here we have  Ms. M again!  This has to be about my third or fourth time shooting Ms. M and trust me it never gets boring.  

Ms. M gave me the liberty to style her boudoir session.  Down to clothing, hair, and makeup.  I love these types of challenges because it shows me the client REALLY believes in my ability, and it also gives me the chance to be more experimental.  This is why I love my clients, they really allow me to stretch my imaginations.

If you can believe it or not, we actually shot this whole series in my apartment.  The first look took place on my balcony.  We had Candy from StylesByCandy come in and handle hair.  Jazzy was covering makeup.  I actually styled both looks. 

For hair I wanted to go for something full body and free. I love messier hairstyles in boudoir sessions.  It makes it much easier when shooting because I am not constantly concerned about the hair being perfect.  Messy hair gives me the liberty to push the session to the limit.  

Jazzy went with a very classic makeup look but still gave it his signature style be giving her the perfect heart lips.  The lips match perfectly with the aesthetic and style.  

The clothing pieces actually came from a closing American Apparel store.  If you guys didn't know, American Apparel is, at the time of this post, in the process of closing all of its locations.  This entire outfit cost me less than $5.  Yes, I bought all the pieces for 90% off.  I am willing to bet that anything with the American Apparel tag will be considered vintage and worth a lot of money in the future.  So hanging on to your American Apparel pieces may come in handy in the future... just not the near future.  

In this second look, we stuck to American Apparel high waisted bottom but then opted for this beautiful top purchased from Forever 21. Again, this purchase was from another clothing store.  I picked the top for $3... again, another boudoir outfit that cost less than $5.  

This goes to show that it's not about the price of the pieces but how you rock them.  

In the comment section below please let me know which look that you liked best.

The Girl Next Door Turns Vixen| Dallas Boudoir Photography

I haven't shot in a studio in quite some time.  While I love the idea of having a constant place to go, shoot, and call my boudoir home.  I have to admit that I do love shooting on location because my photos, work, and brain power will never go stale because each image for each client will look drastically different.

However, if I were to ever pick a client's place that I could shoot in every single day of my boudoir career I would be Ms. N's.  She had an atrium, nice concrete floors, powerful soft light, and this incredible blue studded and tufted jewel couch that was to LIVE for.  You know what else I loved about her place?  It was luxurious but minimalistic.  I know, what a juxtaposition!  (I'm going to be honest, I just wanted to use that word).  

As I say in just about every other blog post, you have to match your style to your settings.  This is how you get those drool-worthy Pinterest boudoir photos that every woman yearns for.  

Since the settings were very minimalistic we decided to have the outfits, hair, makeup, and posing standout and play the power forward position in the photos.   

Dominque Dai is one of my favorite hairstylist in Dallas.  She is one of the most versatile and professional hair care specialists in the city.  For Ms. N photos I wanted to go simple, girl next door glam.  We went for a very loose french braid look with a curl end.  This worked perfectly with her ombre colored hair.  

Jazzy is my right-hand man.  He went in for the kill for the beautifully executed softly dark makeup look.  I know, what the hell is a dark soft?!  Well, the lips were a dark glistening pink and the contour was dark, but not heavy.  Jazzy loves to go for editorial drama in his looks.   Let's not forget about that highlight though! 

Ms. N gave us free range and we were able to have her as our fun little canvas!  

The Girl Next Door

In look one we decided to go with a gray oversized sweater.  Sweaters are my thing.  We shot Kryssi on a black sweater the other day and now we are shooting Ms. N in this sexy gray number.  She had always wanted to wear this piece but could never find anything to match with it.  Therefore she was excited to wear it for our session.  

In most sessions, the more simple a look is the more powerful the image becomes.  Therefore, all we really needed was her couch as the statement piece.  Can you believe she found this tufted jeweled couch on the side of the road driving on Harry Hines in Dallas?!

The Vixen

Ms. N is a juggernaut of beauty!  Besides her gorgeous place, another thing Ms. N had going was the fact that she had racks on racks on racks of lingerie!  In fact, shortly after our session she reached out to me and gave me ALL her lingerie because she was moving across seas and could not take the items with her.  So I have soooooooooo much new lingerie that I haven't even shown off yet.  Judging by these pieces you know they are good!  LOL!

For her second look we decided to show off her assets while not needing to bare them all.  You can tell that Ms. N has a body and attitude that could take down foreign leaders.  So we styled her in a bodysuit that had a really sexy ribbon tied front.  We did this because, while we know her frame is sexy, it still leads a lot to the imagination.  The toasted peach color of her Victoria's Secret bodysuit was perfect for our boudoir setting as we shot these in her atrium.  Dominique just undid the french braid which caused the beautiful shape and volume of her hair.  Jazzy just darken the look a tad to give her more of a vampy vixen vibe.  (How did you like the use of all those V words?)

I had SUCH a blast shooting Ms. N.  She is such a damn doll!  I couldn't have asked for a better client, with a badass lingerie wardrobe, in the most perfect home for boudoir!

Let me know in the comment section below which boudoir look you like the best?  Personally, I really like them both!

If you are in the Dallas area and would like to book a boudoir session please check out our pricing and hit us up on the contact page. Or even just fill the form out below!

7 Questions to ask your Boudoir Photographer | Dallas Boudoir Photography

Picking a boudoir photographer can be a hard task.  When you come across a photographer you want to work with you should have a number of question in line that they should answer for you in the degree you aligned to.  

Today I have a lost of 7 of the most important questions you should ask your boudoir photographer.

1.) Do you have a Boudoir Session Prep Guide?

Most boudoir photographers will have a boudoir prep guide they provide to all their clients.  A boudoir prep guide is designed to help you, physically and mentally prepare for your boudoir session.  For example, in my boudoir guide (which you cand find here), I instruct clients on HOW to plan their session, what they should do about hair and makeup, and what to wear. 

2.) What do I Wear?

I know this questions and all answers to this question can be a tad bit subjective.  This is because not all boudoir locations are the same. With that, not all boudoir photographers are the same as well. What you wear will have a lot to do with the set up the boudoir photographers has and the photographer's personal style.  If your photographer shoots light and bright, pastel colors and lighter colors would be perfect.  If you are doing an outdoor maternity boudoir session then flowy pieces would add to the ambiance of the setting and location.  If the photographer shoots darker than jewel toned to black pieces would be perfect.  I would tend steer way from lacy items and stick to more structured tops and bottoms if I'm shooting inside. 

The key to effective photos is to make sure your outfit matches the tone of the environment.  

3.) Do you Provide Hair and Makeup?

Believe it or not many boudoir photographers do have a hair and makeup artist on staff. Therefore, you should find out up front if  hair and makeup are included in your session.  Picking a boudoir photographer who does not offer this service may be a tad bit more stressful because that's another place (or two) that you have to go to BEFORE you boudoir session even begins.  It would be in my honest opinion that you pick a photographer who does have a hair and makeup on staff.  The less you have to run around before the session the more calm you will be.

4.) Can you Breakdown the Whole Process for Me? Start to finish.

Your photographer should be able to let you know what to expect from the day.  It's really okay to ask for a detailed explanation for what happens once you walk through the door.  This is your time to understand the breakdown and ask any questions that have been lingering in your mind.  Don't be shy here.

5.) How Long does it Take to get My Photos Back?

Of course, this is the question all women want to know.  We want to see the final product and we want to see it now.  Be sure you get this question answered up front.  For example, if you're doing a boudoir session as a wedding present you need to make sure you give you the photographer enough time to get make sure you get everything back in time for your vows.  If you are doing this for a wedding gift make sure you do it at least 3 months before hand.  Why?  I can only speak for myself, but I have a couple of books that are handmade in Italy that take 2 full months to put together before being sent back out to the states.  these books take so long because they are handcrafted.  You also have to give your photographer enough time to cull and retouch all the photos.  

This amount of times really depends on how many photos they need to pull for your set.  The more photos you have the longer this process takes.  

Be sure to let your boudoir photographer know your timeline to ensure that you all know exactly what to expect.

6.) Will you show my photos to anyone? Or will they be published on your site?

Again, this differs from photographer to photographer.  Make sure you get a verbal answer to this and make sure that this is also covered in your contract.  If you don't have this covered in you the contract then the photographer has every single right to publish your photos wherever they want as they are the ones that own the copyright to the photo. 

7.) How Long do you Keep the Photos?

Again, this is something that differs from photographer to photographer.  For each photographer the length of how long they keep the photos goes by on a case by case basis. Some photographers keep photos for up to two years.  Other photographers delete the photos as soon as the order has been pulled.  In boudoir, I know many of photographers delete photos fairly quickly.  Therefore if you are want to get additional photos then make sure you do that within the photographer's guidelines.

Well, I hope this post helped you decide on what you should ask your boudoir photographer.  You will be spending a good amount of money on your session to being educated on the process is really important.  In the comment section below let me know which question is most important to you and why.

CONTACT UP!

If would like to book a boudoir session with us please fill out the form below or go to our contact page and give us a call.  We typically return calls and emails within 24 hours!

We Found Boudoir in a Hopeless Place | Dallas Boudoir Photography

Alexis is one of my favorite people in the world.  She is a fashion stylist and model who recently relocated to New York City for work and love.  She came back to Dallas in late December to visit family and friends for the holidays. While in town she requested that I shoot some photos of her for her new blog, Lone Star in the City.  Since Alexis is amazing I couldn’t say no to her!

WHAT HAD HAPPEN WAS...

If you guys weren’t aware on December 26, 2016 major tornadoes hit the North Texas area demolishing blocks and blocks of neighborhoods while many people lost their lives.

Yeah, we were shooting on that day.  In fact this was supposed to be a twilight boudoir session over the city of Dallas.  However, due to turbulent and unpredictable weather we brought the boudoir session inside of my building.  

Yes, these shots took place in the stairwell of my building!  I love how the moody emptiness is also an unspoken and unseen character in these photos.  These photos emphasize her adult allure and sexiness.  . 

Check out this video we made with Alexis.  It’s crazy how just the most simplistic of places can spark the most incredible settings.  

THE BOUDOIR OUTFIT BREAKDOWN

BOUDOIR OUTFIT

This whole outfit came from Victoria’s Secret.  I just adore gold hardware and exposed zippers.  I feel like exposed zippers are a node to vintage quality and craftsmanship.   This exposed zipper on this corset top proved to elevate the game of sexiness when it comes to seductive designs.

The matching panties to this set were so incredibly tantalizing.  Too bad they are no longer on sale.  It’s so hard to find geometric cut outs on panties, and these were perfect for that.  

The skirt was my FAVORITE part of this whole look.  First of all who doesn’t love silk?  Only crazy people.  There is just SOMETHING about silk that makes you feel instantly high class, sophisticated, and sexy.  Turn that into a tulle maxi skirt and you are asking for any woman to bring out their innermost Upper East side sexiness.  

BOUDOIR HAIR

The hair was just simple.  I wanted to do a high poofy and messy bun that sat on the top of her head, but because the outfit was so slick and Spanish inspired we opted for the more for a sleek look to embrace the aura of the feel. 

Later in our session I asked Alexis to take her hair down because it was "too" perfect (if you notice in my photos I have a thing for messy-sex-in-the-morning hair.  I wanted to something more grunge, real, and could evoke an emotion of relaxed power and longing.  

We leveraged Alexis hair as an element of storytelling.  Look how well Alexis brings in her hair to help elevate the allure of the photos.  

BOUDOIR MAKEUP

There is a reason they refer to Jazzy as the King.  He knows what he’s going.  I love how he took a chance by placing a bold red lip on a woman of such a dark complexion.  He helped add drama to the overall look by creating an intense smokey eye look.  Doing this created a sense of mysterious coy power.  

This couldn’t have been more fitting for such a crazy night.

ONE MORE NOTE

One camera you should ALWAYS have on your shoots is the Fuji Instamax.  We has SUCH a blast with this camera.  You have to check out the fun photos we took below.  

Be sure to follow Alexis’s new blog, Lonestar in the City. It is a fashion and lifestyle blog that documents how Alexis will navigate her way through New York City as a Texas Native.  

Question of the Day!

In the comment section PLEASE let me know your favorite photo of Alexis and why.  Also let me know if you have a Fuji Instamax and what you think about it.

If you’re interested in a session with us please feel free to fill out the form below and a member from our team will reach out to you within 24 hours!

Have a Great Day!