Nothing can Bring You Peace but Yourself

Nothing Can Bring You Peace but Yourself

Ralph Emerson Waldo was a really wise person.  He said that, “Nothing  can bring you peace but yourself.”  That is still true today.

Too many times we look to other people or other things to find peace.  We attached ourselves to people who we think may be the answer we need to our own problems.  However, the answer can only be found inside of you.  I know it sounds so cliché but stick with me here for a second. 

We move around so much in this busy world that we hardly take a second to listen to our own inner thoughts.  A real phones off, TV off, computers closed approach.  We don’t sit still long enough to reflect on what we really need out of this world to make us happy.  If we don’t do that how are we expect to know if we are making the right decisions?  Sometimes we just need a cut the cord weekend. 

Cut the cord?  What if this, that or the other happens?  Well, it’s very true that really bad and unexpected things can happen if our phones are off, but we have to trust they won’t and make some personal time for ourselves.  We need to do this to have time to reflect on what we really need and how we plan on accomplishing those things.  Sometimes we can’t find peace because we are too involve in things that don’t give us time to think

We can’t find the solution in food, alcohol, pills, drugs, or other people.  Those answers… no matter how hard they can be at times, can only be found inside of us. 

In the comments below tell me how often you cut the cord to allow yourself to think?


Austin Boudoir, Lost in the Woods, Outdoor Boudoir

Lost in the Woods, Dallas Boudoir, Austin Boudoir

On my very first blog post after relaunching I had a reader ask where I like shooting the most.  I must confirm that I love shooting outside in natural light.  I really love shooting in the woods for some reason.  Ever since I was a little girl I was infatuated with the wood and climbing trees.  It was so freeing and fun and I enjoyed the alone time I got just being the woods.  Never once was I scared to be there alone.  I believe that love still carries on with me today. 

Austin Boudoir, Dallas Boudoir, Wonderland Boudoir

For this session Jazzy Baptiste and I traveled all the way to Austin, Texas to do a stylized boudoir session with the lovely Maren.  Maren is part of your Unites States military serving the US Navy.  She is also a mom and a wife.  What an amazing woman Maren is. 

Maren met us at my dear friend’s house and we traveled to the most southern part of Austin to host this session.   The photos in this series were shot in my little brother’s front yard.  Yes!  It feels like this fool lives on a nature preserve. His property is so gorgeous.  It’s the closest thing you are going to get to the perfect mix of city and country in a metropolitan area. 

Styling wise everything came from Victoria’s Secret.  The robe was embedded with Swarovski crystals.  The bra, panties, and garter were a soft teal color.  At the time of this session the nice attendant at Northpark Mall pulled everything from the back to help me piece together a perfect outfit.  Nothing had hit the floor yet and we were to first to have it.  He whispered that all the good stuff was in the back.  I really loved the fact that he took the time to help us pick out the items for this session.

Of course Jazzy did an incredible job for this makeup session.  Jazzy is a magician with the makeup brushes.  I love his high lighting and blending game.  He is the truth.  Jazzy also has his own blog out so PLEASE go check out his work and sub to his page. 

Austin Boudoir, Dallas Boudoir, Wonderland Boudoir

For the hair we did nothing to it.  We didn’t want it to be too stylized because we wanted to do a fresh out of the bed type of look.  It needed to be messy and unperfected to really go with the theme of the session. 

Maren is a natural who followed direction very well.  I have found that most women who have served in our armed forces have an uncanny appeal to the camera and have no problem really following direction to enhance the photos. 

We shoot in different parts of the front yard for about 45 minutes.  The scariest part was when we got close to the creek.  There was huge black snake!  We both screamed and ran way.  The snake went in the other direction in a frenzy as well.  Jazzy and my friend laughed at us as they saw Maren and I running back towards the house. 

Halfway through the session my niece (9 months at the time) and nephew (2 years) came out to say hi and give everyone hugs and kisses. 

Still thinking about that day really fills me with so much joy in my heart.  We had such a lovely time and I really feel as though the photos solidify that fact. 

I want to say thank you to my best friend Kim for allowing me use her house to get us all ready and to crash for the weekend.  She is such a great host and one of the best friends anyone could ask for in this lifetime.  She is so unselfish and I loving being around her.  I want to say thank you to my little brother for letting us use his front yard as our playground.  It’s so amazing what you can do in your own front yard.  Of course I have to thank Jazzy because he always brings the sessions to life with his wizardry!  Maren, words cannot express the amount of gratitude I have for taking time out of your day to help us with beautiful project.  Thank you Maren for your service.

Without further ado please enjoy the photos!

Austin Boudoir, Dallas Boudoir, Wonderland Boudoir
Austin Boudoir, Dallas Boudoir, Wonderland Boudoir
Austin Boudoir, Dallas Boudoir, Wonderland Boudoir
Austin Boudoir, Dallas Boudoir, Wonderland Boudoir

I do come to Austin often because my family does live there.  If you want to book a boudoir session in Austin, Texas (or anywhere in the world) please contact me HERE!  Check out our investment page to see the different packages we offer and how each one will benefit you HERE!

Please let me know which photo was your favorite and why in the comments below.

6 Things you Shouldn’t do before a Boudoir Shoot

6 Things you shouldn't do before a boudoir session

There are hundreds of list of things you SHOULD do before a boudoir session, but what about the things you shouldn't do?  I have a list of 6 things you shouldn't be before a boudoir session and why it's important for you to avoid them at all cost.

1. DON’T TAN BEFORE A BOUDOIR SESSION

  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not tan a day before the session.  If you must tan do it about a week or more before your boudoir session.  Why shouldn't you tan before a boudoir session?  Because the orange skin will make it more than difficult to do any post work on your body, and you may actually clash with the settings.  Also if you decide to spray tan before our session some of the tan may get on our white flooring and stain the carpet and furniture.  If you really must tan then please so at least 5-7 days before your scheduled boudoir session.  Honestly, the most natural skin tone looks best in boudoir photos.

2. PARTYING HARD THE NIGHT BEFORE, YOU CAN’T PHOTOSHOP HUNGOVER

There is nothing worse than a severely hung over person at a photoshoot.  There are a lot of things we can fix in post, but hungover isn’t one of them.  Do yourself a favor and do not drink the night before a boudoir session.  Just remember that you paid good money for an awesome session so do everything you can to help optimize that!  To make sure you get your best results don’t drink at least 7 days before your session.  This will help alleviate the potential of bloating and breakouts. 

3. DO NOT GET A HAIRCUT BEFORE A BOUDOIR SESSION

Please do not get a haircut before your boudoir session.  I know firsthand how a bad haircut will make you feel insecure.  Recently I went to get my hair “trimmed” at a local salon a day before a major bridal show.  The stylist was new and ended up cutting EIGHT INCHES OF HAIR OFF!  Count that… ONETWOTHREEFOURFIVESIXSEVEN…EIGHT!!!!  All I could think about that entire day is how stupid my hair looked.  Alas, it’s just hair and it will grow back, but do you really want to have a bad haircut a day before a major shoot? 

4. DO NOT GET WAXED A DAY BEFORE YOUR SHOOT

Skin can be easily irritated.  Your skin may normally look great the day after a good waxing… but it only takes that one time to just not heal the way it normally does.  Please do not get a wax more than 2-3 days before your session.  Give your body time to heal just in case the unthinkable happens.

5. DO NOT TAKE SHOTS BEFORE YOUR BOUDOIR SESSION

Yes, this seriously has happened to me before… like twice.  At Wonderland Boudoir we offer mimosas prior to your shoot and an assortment of wine, but I have had clients bring in hard liquor and just go to town. Yeah, after that second time I don’t allow outside drinks in.  Just like we can’t Photoshop hungover we also can’t Photoshop drunk. 

6. TRY TO AVOID SODIUM BEFORE YOUR BOUDOIR SESSION

Yes, I know this is super hard to do considering the age we live in.  Everything is fast food this, microwave that, just add water here.   Even I was addicted to Ramen (post college) for awhile.   However,  about 5-7 days before a session cut out as much sodium as possible.  Sodium helps to retain water which, in turn, makes you look bloated before your session.  The last thing any woman wants is to be bloated before a major shoot.

I really hope these 6 suggestions of things you shouldn’t do before your boudoir session will help you ladies prepare for your next boudoir session!  It’s really important to be very well rested and take care of your body before, during, and after a boudoir session!

In the comments below can you think of any other things one should avoid before a boudoir session?

Look at the Mirror, That’s your Competition

Look at the mirror, That's your competition

 

One thing I really like about myself is the fact that I don’t see other people’s success as a grade of where I am at in life.  We are all on different paths in this world  I can’t compare myself to Beyonce.  Why?  Because I’m not Beyonce. 

While I am super proud of Queen B’s accomplishments in this life I do not see her as competition because we are running in two completely different races. 

There is one person I am in completion with every week, and that’s me.  I had a friend put me in my place one day by telling me, “Don’t put hurdles in front of yourself before you get started.”  He confirmed that I was someone really special in this world, but if I kept making excuses for why I couldn’t do something I would never understand or see the gifts I was supposed to give to the world.

He was right.  The only one stopping me from accomplishing my goals was me.  Why?  Because I constantly made excuses.  The main excuses I had:

1.)    I don’t have enough time!

2.)    I can’t afford the best equipment!

3.)    I don’t know how to use that *insert software here*

4.)    I just need to get all these things right first before I do this…

5.)    I’m scared of failing

 

This was all bullshit. 

1.)    Of course I didn’t have enough time.  I had to be real with myself.  I wasn’t prioritizing what was important.  Partying, going out with friends, and spending all my money on fashion and events was not making me more money.   This had to stop.  If my friend didn’t understand my refocus then I had to question how good of friends we actually are.

2.)    I couldn’t afford the best equipment.  Of course I couldn’t!  I was spending my money on useless frivolous things that weren’t making me any money.   I had to curb my spending habit and make major changes in my life.   For example, instead of going out for wild parties and buying drinks my friend and I started movie night.  We kept it local and chilled. My fashion game had to come to a hault.  I had this ridiculous notion of not wearing the same outfit within the same 30 days.  Okay I am NOT some trust fund baby where I could keep buying clothes.  Now not only do I wear the same clothes in the same month I may even wear it twice I a week (don’t judge everyone is doing it) Hey black pants are black pants!  This helped me save so much money that I was able to purchase my laptop and first pro camera and lens. 

3.)    I blamed why I couldn’t do something because of my lack of knowledge.  Hey IT’S CALLED YOUTUBE!!!  We live in the information age! Nowadays computers are really affordable and most of us have data plans that allow us to watch YouTube no matter where we are.  Use YouTube as a platform to get you started… and once you get more immersed and you learn all you can from YouTube then buy subscriptions to places like Lynda.com or invest in workshops that you believe are going to elevate your skill.

4.)    I need to do this, that, and the other before I can get started:  *BEEP* ME! That was the lamest excuse I was giving myself.  I was not obligated to follow some set standard of rules that I magically made up and placed on myself.  For my first site under Urban Jungle Photography I told myself that I needed to have the PERFECT photography session before people would come.  No.  I didn’t. I had enough photography in my arsenal, but I had this stupid idea in my head EVERYTHING had to be perfect.  Then one day I heard someone say, “Sometimes you need to just jump and an then adjust after you completed it.  That’s what I did, and it was the best decision I ever made. Within a month of that site launching I was asked to start shooting models for magazines. Stop following stupid rules that mean nothing.

5.)    I’m scared I will fail.  Lets be honest. There is a very good chance that you just may fail.  However, not getting it right the first time doesn’t mean you’re an idiot. It means that you need to do something differently.  Even Steve Jobs was fired from Apple, and Steve Jobs helped create Apple!  Did this mean Steve jobs was a failure?  No.  In fact he came back more humble, bigger, and better.  We need failure in order to be better.  Failure is an identifier of what we need to do differently in order to achieve our goals. If anyone makes you feel bad for failing then you need to 86 them from your life.

You are your own competition. 

You are the only person standing in your way to greatness.  You can accomplish all your goals if you take the steps needed to debunk you excuses.  The best thing I did was take a day off work to write down everything that was “stopping” me  from achieving my goals and then calling myself out on it. 

Once I did that it changed my life.

Do something to change yours. 

Look in the mirror, that’s your only opponent.

 

In the comments below tell me how you got over you excuses to achieve your goals.



8 Things to Bring to Your Boudoir Session

8 Things to Bring to your boudoir session, Dallas Boudoir

Another common question I get asked is, “What should I bring to my boudoir session?”  Well, today I’m going to give you you 8 tips that will set you up for a sexy and successful boudoir session.

 

1.  YOUR A GAME!

Bring your A game to your boudoir session!  That means staying hydrated and getting a great nights rest.  Last month I wrote a post called 7 Ways to feel Comfortable before a Boudoir Session.  This blog post is imperative because it will give you the tools you need to bring your A game for a success boudoir shoot.

2. LINGERIE THAT FITS YOUR BODY PROPERLY

In my piece on 7 Ways to Feel Comfortable before a Boudoir Session I suggested to try on your lingerie before you get to your boudoir session.  The last thing you want is ill fitting clothes for such an important occasion.  Most lingerie shops and boutiques will measure you for free to make sure you are purchasing the right lingerie pieces that fit your body correctly.  They will also have personal shoppers that will give you a second opinion and only suggest pieces that will flatter your body.

3. BRING SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT

If you are doing your boudoir session as a gift for a loved one then bring something of significance to that person.  If your partner is an athlete or is into a particular sports team then wear his favorite team jersey.  If he’s a fireman bring his helmet and suspenders.  Or if he does a certain pose that’s an inside joke to you and him then make sure you do that during your session.  This is something that is going to be sacred between you two so make sure you include him in… even if he’s not physically there.

4. BLING BLING

In Texas we love our Bling!  Wearing bling to a boudoir session is a must!  Big gaudy pieces always photograph well and gives the photos a taste of luxury, especially if you are going for a full on glam look.  Chandelier earrings are also a great form of bling.  There is something sexy and sophisticated about chandelier earrings in photographs.   They really step up the luxe factor.

5. BLACK AND NUDE THONGS

Bringing a pair of black and nude thongs to your boudoir session is a must if you plan on wearing lingerie provided to you by the boudoir studio.  Therefore, if you use one of our pieces we ask that you wear a thong between your body and our clothes.  We suggest you wear either nude our black depending on the color of the lingerie piece you wear.

6. BLACK CLOSED TOED PUMPS

Wearing black closed toed pumps to your boudoir session is always a classic move.  I suggest the heel be, at the very least, 3 inches high.  Be to be honest, any heel 4 inches or higher is better because it really leans out the legs and makes your bum pop even more. 

7. RUBBER BANDS AND BOBBY PINS

When you come in for your boudoir session always bring extra rubber bands and bobby pins that match your current hair color.  For some reason clients always need one or both of these for their session.  Never fails.

8. CLEAR DEODORANT

Wearing clear deodorant is essential to your boudoir session.  Part of the light airbrushing is evening skin tone… and typically the skin located in the armpit tends to be shades darker than the rest of your body.  Wearing clear deodorant to your boudoir session will eliminate bar residue under your armpits making airbrushing more even in post production.   Furthermore wearing clear deodorant eradicates the problem of getting deodorant on your body, lingerie, and the sets. 

Don't Leave Home Without These Things!

Bringing these 8 essential items to your boudoir session will not only set you up for a win but makes you calm because you will have less to worry about.  With so much going on there is no need for add stress.

In the comments below:

Tell me one thing you never leave home without.  For me, it’s sunglasses.  I always have to rock my Rays!

6 Excuses to Sneak out of the House... for a Surprise Boudoir Session

6 Real Excuses to Sneak Out the House for a Boudoir Session

“I am SO excited for my boudoir session, but I need an excuse to sneak out of my house as this is a surprise anniversary present for my husband.  Do you have any suggestion on what I should say?”

“How can I sneak out of the house for a boudoir session without my husband finding out?”   Is probably one of the common questions I get asked by clients who are hosting a boudoir session as a secret present for a significant other. 

While I do not advocate lying to your partner I think sometimes we can make excuses, especially if they are the greater good.  I’ve had some clients come up with some creative ideas and today I want to share with you five excuses that will buy you a numbers of hours out of the house for your boudoir session.

1. Schedule Your Session When You Know He’s Busy

Many couples know their partners routine by heart and because of that can anticipate what they are doing and when they are going to be home on particular days.  For example, my father would play basketball every Saturday from 9AM to 2PM and then we would hang out at the park another hour so he could speak with his friends before we all headed home.  That was six solid hours we were out of the house.  What my mom did on those Saturdays I still have no idea.  However, anticipate his schedule and schedule your boudoir session around that. 

Does he spend Sunday with his parents?  Or does he have an old friend from High School coming into town for the weekend?  Does he spend a certain day of the week meeting up with his boys and playing video games or catching up at the bar with them?  Know his schedule and anticipate what he’s going to be doing so you can go to a session without him getting wind of your surprise.

  • Cons: His plans may fall through and opt to hang out with you instead.  It’s a good idea to have a contingency plan in place just in case things go awry.
  • Pros: No need to make up a story about what you’re doing because he will probably be too occupied with his own schedule.

2. Girl’s Day

Tell your man that you are having a girls day.  Most men respect the sanctity of the sisterhood so there will probably be very little questioning.  If he does ask for details explain to him that you are planning on getting a late lunch and then seeing a movie (pick a long movie that you know he will have no interest in).  Informing him that you will be seeing a movie will eliminated a need to call or text you since he will know you won’t be looking at your phone. 

  • Cons: Your man may be a movie buff and invite himself to the movie section of your day.  If that is the case tell him that Cindy (Insert your BFFs name here) is currently going through a tough time and just needs a friend.  This will ensure that he won’t ask any additional questions or invite himself along.  Just make sure to tell Cindy that you will be using her as an excuse.  The last thing you want is him calling/texting Cindy to give her his condolences and Cindy responding back extra confused. 
  • Pros: There is probably very little chance of him barging in on your girl time so this will be a solid excuse.

3. Brunch

This is a lot like the girl's day, but you can use the excuse of brunch if you need to get out of the house earlier in the day.  Brunch gives you a solid 5 hours to host a boudoir session. 

This plan will work because there is even less of a chance of your man calling you because he will know you will be out with your girls. 

Cons: Now you have to let a number of ladies know your secret.  We know the more people you let in on the covert mission the more likely it is for someone to slip up and ruin your surprise.

Pros: There is only a VERY a small chance that he may call you.  However, you can actually have brunch with your girls after the session.  Especially since you will be dolled up you will look extra glam and when you get home you will have a valid excuse for the amazing hair and makeup.  Plus if you’re looking extra hot there won’t be too many questions after you walk in the door. 

4. Getting Your Hair Done

It’s no secret that it can take HOURS for your hair to get done at a hairstylist.  Most stylists are juggling two or three other clients and this typically adds on to your time.  Let him know that you are getting your hair done and tell him that later that evening that you want to have a night out on the town. This gives you reason to be very glammed up. 

  • Cons: he drops by the salon to see you get your hair done and you’re not there.  If that happens tell him you went to see a new girl.  It’s not like you won’t have valid proof.
  • Pros:  You don’t have to scrub the beautiful makeup off or wash your gorgeous hair.  You already look amazing AND you get a date the end of the night! Sounds like a win to me!

5. Spa Day with the Girls

Maybe someone is getting married or one of your girls is having a milestone birthday party.  Whatever the case maybe tell him you are going to treat this friend to a girls spa day.  Don’t give him too many details about where you’re going or how long you are going to be.  Just let me know you are doing it because it’s Cindy birthday (she’s the best isn’t she) and you want to treat her.

  • Cons: He may text you to see what you’re up to.  So you need to have an idea of how a spa works and let him know what you are doing… or about to do at the spa.  One of my clients actually had to do this because her hubby would text her every hour to 90 minutes.  You will also have to wash all that beautiful hair and makeup off so it really looks like you went to a spa.  I know.  Sucks!
  • Pros:  Being at a spa gives you a good reason as to why you didn’t answer your text right away. 

6. Volunteer Work

This is a solid excuse you can use to leave the house with little to no suspicion.  Make sure you tell him that you are volunteering at a girls/women centric organization so he doesn’t invite himself to come.  Many women organizations don’t allow men to be around for a number of different reasons so you won’t have to fear him wanting to join. 

  • Cons: You will most likely have to wash all your hair and clean your makeup off to not garner any questions.
  • Pros: This gives you a valid reason to be out of the house for an unlimited amount of hours and a good reason why you didn’t answer your phone/text when he called to see how you’re doing.

 

So There You Go!

I hope these six excuses to sneak out the house for a boudoir session helped you!  Again I don’t promote lying, but you are doing something for your beau so I hardly think he will count this against you. 

 

In the comments below let me know what additional excuses you can come up with to get out of the house. 

If I can get at least give good reasons I will create a second blog post!

Socrates, Building on the New

Socrates, The secret to change it focus all your energy on, not on fighting the old, but building on the new. -Socrates

Socrates had it right man.  The secret to change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but building on the new.  Many of us fall victim of replaying past mistakes in our head instead of focusing on how we can build from that moment. 

I still have a full time job in corporate America.  About two to three weeks back I made a huge mistake.  Well, not just ONE huge mistake… it felt like nothing that couple of weeks was going right for me.  It felt like everything I touched wilted in my hands.  Honestly, it got so bad that I had given up mentally.  A place I had never been to before.  I just gave up.  I felt like a screw up and every mistake I made was exposing my flaws more and more.

Please reconfirm I am not the only person who has felt this way.

Well, the person who this mistake affected was working out of state for the week on another major project.  However, she was still CC’d on emails and responding back and she was the person who caught this mistake after it went live for the whole company to see.  Once the mistake happen I felt a sickness like no other take over me.  I actually wanted to cry at my desk.  I was just so over it.

It was just the perfect storm.  She was out of town, my boss was on vacation, I had a billion other projects I was working, on top of email after email with new project request.  I just buckled under all the pressure.  I was so ready for the verbal lashing that would come when she got back into town later that week. 

I mentally prepared myself with all the worse things she could say about me.  When she asked me to see her in my office that pit in my stomach reappeared and my eyeslids could barely contain the floodgates.   This is meaningful because I am a person who rarely gets emotional over bad stuff happening.

However, she didn’t say anything bad.  No one thing.  I learned that day why they promoted this woman, and why she was a true boss.

She didn’t focus on the mistake I made.  She acknowledged it and then went to build a solution based off what had happen.  WOW.  This amazing woman really could have reprimanded me, but instead was like, “this happen… now we need to focus on what to do next to avoid future situations like this.”  That’s exactly what we did.  She told me she wasn’t angry and could see that I was, “drinking water from a fire hydrant.”  She could see I wanted to do a good job, “but sometimes these things just happen and we have to learn from them.”

You know the even more amazing thing? When my boss came back to work the following week he wasn’t angry either.  In fact he just summed it up real quick, “We all just have really bad weeks.  It just happens.  It happens to all of us.”  That was it. 

About two weeks later we organized a meeting to discuss procedures on what to do to help avoid this issue again.  One thing that would never change would be last minute request.  So we designed our meeting to include that issue as well. 

We came up with a solution that would be beneficial to all of us and help reduce errors when it comes to last minute major projects that land at our desk.  The procedure created was designed to help reduce the number of mistakes coming from our groups.  Now everything is not 100% foolproof and mistakes may continue to happen, but I believe the resolution we all agreed upon will help alleviate further occurrences for future projects. 

Taking my mistake as the catalyst for change really helped put faith back in my work and inspired me to never give up again.  I made a mistake and I owned it.  However, it felt good that people did not harp on that mistake and instead acknowledged it.  We came up with a solution to fix it.  This is why she and my boss are leaders because they both inspired me not to give up on myself again.  

This real life example is how we can use past mistakes to build our future.  Let’s be honest, we can’t get everything in life perfect the first time around.  There are always going to be influences to why we just make mistakes.  Many of them are out of our hands, and sometimes things just go wrong. 

However, like the homie Socrates said, we need to focus our energies on, not fighting the old, but building on the new.

 

Contest: In the comment below let me know of past mistakes you made and what you did (or are doing) to build upon those mistakes!  Winner chosen at random

Prize: $25 Gift Certificate to Victoria’s Secret!

Contest Ends:  April 26th, 2015 at 11:59AM